Gomu Gomu no Prank!
by SierryaSkye
Summary: A prank war breaks out between Luffy and Nami. It starts with a number of harmless pranks, but since they are the Straw Hats, things are bound to escalate or cause chaos/destruction/hilarity/fluff. T for language.
1. SpiderSan

**Gomu Gomu no Prank!**

Originally Written (Started): 20 November 2011

A/n: I found this story on my computer from a while back and I wanted to post it. I haven't written much but I thought what I did write was mildly entertaining, hopefully you think so as well :) I might write more on this story now and then, because well, One Piece is probably the best anime of all time and I love it dearly.

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**Spider-San**

Nami rested her cheek on her fist and leaned over a large map she had been detailing for five hours straight. The day had been one of those rare days when she could sit by herself and do what she loved most without too much interruption. Just as she reflected on this and thanked the heavens for a peaceful day, the door to her drawing room slammed open and hit the wall. She jumped at the loud crack of a door knob hitting wood and she made a stray mark on her map. Her eye twitched and she felt the sinking sensation that she had sent her thank you too soon.

"Naaaammiii I have a present for you~" Luffy burst in with a wide smile on his face and walked up to her desk. She just ignored him and began to fix the stray mark his rude interruption had caused. When she noticed he waited for her to look up, she slapped her pen down on her desk and looked up at him thoroughly annoyed. Instead of seeing her Captain though she came face to face with the most unsightly thing she had ever seen.

"Luffy! Get that thing the hell away from me!" Nami screeched and stumbled out of her chair.

Luffy followed her as she tried to maneuver past him, but he stepped in front of her each time, slowly closing her into a corner. "Shishishi." Luffy dangled a spider in front of her and laughed loudly.

"Quit that!" Nami pointed at him and clutched her other arm over her chest protectively, she just cringed at the sight of any insect.

He pouted and looked to the spider. "It's too small to hurt anybody, why are you scared?"

"Spiders are disgusting!" He stepped closer. "Ahh Luffy no!" Nami screamed and ran past Luffy, but only to get stuck behind her cartography table. When he moved in, she picked up the chair and tried to fend Luffy off, but he quickly changed strategy and faked throwing the insect at her. "Don't you dare!" She glared daggers at him.

"You're so mean Nami, it's not even doing anything wrong, and _you_ called it disgusting. Just look at it, isn't it so awesome." Luffy held out his hand with a 500 beli coin sized spider resting on his palm. Admiration and curiosity sparkled in Luffy's eyes as he stared at the arthropod.

"NO! Absolutely not. Come any closer and that will be 20,000 beli." She stopped yelling and looked as dead serious as she could. He took a step closer and she screamed again, "30,000!"

Luffy pulled his hand away, "Okay. Okay. I will just leave this right here." Luffy set the spider down on one of the maps Nami had been working on all day.

"GET IT OFF!" Nami threw the chair at him, which just bounced off, and made a run for the door. She hid behind the door frame and stared anxiously at the bug innocently sitting on her desk.

Luffy just grinned and walked over to where Nami was standing. "I think he will make a good addition to the crew, Spider-san." He gave a thumbs up.

Nami punched him in the head. "Kill it now!" She shoved him back into the room. He stumbled in, but not before stretching his arm back to grab her and drag Nami in with him.

"Nooo! Let me go! This isn't funny anymore!" Nami tried to run away but he held her tightly and pushed her closer to the desk. The spider jumped off the table and scurried towards Nami and Luffy. Nami yelped so loudly Luffy let go of her to cover his ears, and she instinctively darted behind Luffy. She clutched his shirt with shaking hands, and pleaded uncharacteristically. "Please. Luffy get it before it hides away somewhere in my room." She rested her head on his back and begged again. "Luffy."

"Fine." Luffy huffed and walked over to spider trying to get away. He grabbed it and walked out of the room, laughing again when he saw Nami stepping away from him. He tossed it overboard as per Nami's demand and she ran over to watch it fall into the water.

"Dang," Nami turned to look at Luffy while he laughed at her, "You sure were scared weren't you! Shishishishi!" He sounded like a little kid who had just pulled the greatest prank of all time.

"You are such a freaking moron!" Nami punched him in the shoulder and stormed off to her room. She would get revenge, and it would be sweet.

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A/n: As the plot progresses the chapters will probably expand, but for the moment I'm liking my policy of short, sweet, and to the point. Oh and let me know how you like this chapter and the story prospects in a review too! Thanks for reading :)


	2. Midnight Snack

**Midnight Snack**

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"Wahh, so hungry…" Luffy mumbled as he walked across Sunny's deck. "Need food." His stomach rumbled and he whined stridently.

Nami, asleep on one of the deck chairs, jolted awake at the sound of a grumbling stomach and smiled. Luffy was making his midnight food run.

Luffy wandered into the kitchen, flipped on the lights and started to go through all the cabinets. "Huh?" A smile crept over her face again as a confused look replaced Luffy's previous half-lidded daze. "Where'd all the food go?" Luffy went into the pantry, even though uncooked, and therefore inedible, foods were the only items there he still wanted to check. Again no food. He darted over to the fridge and punched in the correct combination to unlock the door. Nami rolled her eyes, she had a feeling he knew the combination, she would have to tell Franky to change it _again_. Luffy stared with wide eyes at an empty fridge.

"Usopp ate it all~ that's not fairrr!" Luffy cried and raised both his fists in the air.

Nami suppressed a laugh as she watched her Captain thrash around in a desperate search for food.

"I still have my secret stash at least." Luffy bent down and picked up a wood board from the floor to get his stash from the small space between the floor of the kitchen the ceiling of the room below, but it was empty too. Nami was the only other person to know about the "secret stash."

"That's impossible." He sat down at the kitchen table thoroughly depressed. He started banging his head on the table. "Sooooo hungry… we've been robbed…Sanji make me food…Niku…"

Nami heard his stomach growl from her hiding position outside of the kitchen, and silently praised her genius, '_That will teach him not to bring bugs into my room_.' Nami snuck back to her room to sleep for a couple of hours, meanwhile Luffy fell asleep at the table.

Nami woke up early, just before sun rise, thrilled to commence phase two of her devious plan. She tip-toed out of her room, so she wouldn't wake Robin, and grabbed a jacket on her way out. When she reached the kitchen she found the lights were still on and Luffy sleeping at the table. He was pouting even in his sleep and Nami smiled to herself, he was such a dork.

She back walked out of the kitchen and called loudly out on the deck, "Ehh? LUFFY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

All the way in the boys quarters Sanji's eyes snapped open, "Nami-swan? I'm coming Nami-swan!" Sanji fell out of bed and accidentally knocked Zoro over on his way to the kitchen. Zoro rolled to the floor and growled, "Oi Ero cook…what the hell do you think you're doin'?" Usopp got up to shout at the two for being too loud, causing the rest of the crew to wake up. Poor Chopper woke up to the common ritual of early morning arguing and covered his head with his pillow mumbling, "Not again."

While the ruckus went on below deck Nami ran into the kitchen and shook Luffy's shoulder roughly. "Luffy, where did all the food go! How could you eat everything?"

"Mmmm…wha?" Luffy picked his head up off the table and stared at Nami blankly.

"Look." Nami smashed his face between her hands and turned his head slightly so he would look at the fridge, pantry, and cabinets all open and empty. "Wa bar bu doing. Leb be go Numi!" She heard angry yelling and loud foot steps banging across the deck, so she let him go. Speaking normally again, he asked as he looked around in confusion. "What's going on?"

Sanji came in at that moment followed by Zoro and Usopp. "Luffy you bastard!" They shouted simultaneously and Nami started to sneak out of the room. "Now we are all going to starve!" Usopp ran around inspecting the empty kitchen and shouting angrily at Luffy. Slow as usual, Luffy looked back and forth from the empty kitchen to the three yelling at him and then to Nami, who was sticking her tongue out at him from the kitchen's entrance.

The situation suddenly made sense. He was down right screwed.

"WAIT! I didn't do it! I came in here last night and all the food was already gone I swear! It was Nami! She must have eaten it all!" He shook his head back and forth desperately and pointed to where Nami had been standing, but she was long gone.

"Don't you dare try to blame this on Nami-swan!" Sanji started the viscous beating, and the rest joined in to beat Luffy to a bloody pulp.

Nami heard more shouting and loud crashing noises as she ran across the deck to her room giggling the entire way. She didn't rest until she got to her room and shut the door behind her, which got her a curious look from Robin who was reading in bed.

"You know he's going to try and get you back now." Robin looked back to her book.

Nami went over to her own bed and sat down smugly. "He's smart enough to know that I mean business. He won't be bothering me again. Besides we're even now." She laid back on her bed and propped her feet up on a barrel of rice.

Robin laughed knowingly, '_too bad he's not smart_,' and Nami looked around at the mountains of food in their room. She picked a grape from a bunch on her bedside table and popped it in her mouth. "Ne Robin, can I have your help putting all this back later?"

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A/n: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! To all those who favorited/followed my story, thank you for your support! And as always, a super-special-awesome thank you those who took the time to review. It doesn't seem important, but it makes my day :) Just had to let you know.


	3. It's On! With Giant Fighting Robots

**War Officially Begins & A Giant Fighting Robot**

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Nami had been sunbathing for the last hour and dozed off peacefully once clouds had blocked her sunlight. The entire day had been riddled with anxiety and jumpiness as Nami waited for Luffy to pull something. However, it was far into the afternoon now and she had hardly seen him, so she figured just he couldn't think of anything and gave up. Which meant to her, relaxation time.

The moment she nodded off, Luffy jumped off Sunny's head and ran over to where she was lying. He had waited all day for Nami to fall asleep, so he got really excited when he saw Nami's peacefully sleeping face. Luffy stared at her a little bit longer than he should have, he had seen a troubling piece of hair in her face and had the urge to brush it away. It just messed with perfection. His thoughts changed from how enchanting she was to how much pain he had suffered because of her. '_I cant believe I forgot! Nami you're so mean._' He scowled, stuck his tongue out at her, then ran to his room and brought back a wet piece of seaweed, he got from the fish tank earlier, and some plastic roaches he found amongst Usopp's stuff some time ago.

"Revenge time for making everyone think I ate all the food. Even when all the mystery food came back later, Sanji still wouldn't let me eat any!" Luffy puffed his cheeks angrily at the memory of getting yelled at, hit, and feeling starved all at the same time.

He snuck over to where she was lying, he tripped on the way, but he made it over without waking her up. She started to move and he froze worried that he woke her up, but she just turned to her side with her head on her hands.

He placed three of the plastic bugs alongside her body and one right in front of her face. He ran not to quietly to one of the upper decks, keeping an eye Nami, and stretched his over the side of the ship to make the seaweed wet again, careful not to touch the ocean water. He extended his arm towards her and touched her face with the slimy seaweed. He laughed quietly when she brushed away the seaweed with her hand. Luffy tickled her ear with it and then dropped the slimy plant over her face. He brought his hand back to the safe zone and away from the bound-to-be-raging navigator.

Nami gasped and pulled the slimy green strand off of her and threw it to the ground. "What the hell!" She looked around and saw no one until she came face to face with a roach. She screamed and fell out of the chair as she tried to get away. She bumped her elbow pretty hard when she fell, but she picked herself up and ran away from her chair.

After about a minute of staring at the bugs on her chair, she noticed they weren't moving. She tiptoed over cautiously and poked one with a piece of grass. Her eye twitched when she realized they were fake. She picked one up to find it was soft and malleable. Suddenly she heard Luffy's snickering and she snapped her head in his direction.

"LUFFY YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Nami stomped up the stairs waving a fist in the air. "You hurt my elbow, you jerk!" Knowing when to scram, Luffy picked himself up off the floor and laughed like an idiot as he ran away. When she got up to his level and closed in, he jumped down a floor. "You are sooooo easy~" Luffy said in a sing-song voice.

Even though he was out of her reach, Nami improvised and took off her shoe. She flung it at his head, and knocked him over. "It's on! If it's a war you want, it's a war you'll get! You hear me rubber boy!"

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Nami saw Zoro on the deck doing curls with his left arm and casually walked by. "Zoro, are you busy?"

He stopped and looked up at her suspiciously, "Eh, you up to something witch?"

"Oh, no. I was just asking, haha." Nami laughed and ran off.

Five minutes later Nami stood by a short railing of the ship, making sure to line herself up appropriately with where Luffy was dancing around spastically on the deck with some of the other crew members. Nami bent over the railing and shouted loud enough so he could hear. "Oi Luffy, look! It's a giant fighting robot swimming in the ocean!"

"NO WAY!" Luffy shouted and ran quickly over to where Nami was standing. "This is so awesome, I can't believe it! I want it! Hahaha-" He ran so fast and was distracted by the thought of owning a giant fighting robot, that he failed to see a large metal handle had been bolted to the deck. Luffy's foot fit perfectly in the handle and he was launched down and over the side of the ship into the ocean. Nami burst out laughing. It had happened so fast, some blur rushed up behind her and was suddenly flung in a perpendicular direction.

"Nami I don't see anything!" She heard him shout up which was shortly followed by a "Wait! No I can't swimblmbl..."

"I can't believe that worked!" Nami jumped in the air victoriously and seconds later received a nasty glance from Zoro when he ran by.

As Luffy sank to the bottom of the ocean looking up at a silhouette off in the distance he thought to himself, "There's no robot down here either!"

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A/n: Nami's a little violent isn't she? Don't worry she's got some elaborate plans in the making. Hopefully this didn't bore you since the pranks were so simple!

The next chapter is titled _We Go! (Naked)_. I don't know what you will make of that, but I'm sure it would be interesting to find out what ya'll are thinking lol. If someone guesses the prank correctly, I would be amazed, but then again it's really not that hard to figure out. Cryptastic. The chapter should be posted in a couple days, till then, bless your face, and if you sneezed while reading this bless you :3

Once again, thanks you guys for reading & for the support. You are all amazing :)


	4. We Go! Naked

**We Go! (Naked)**

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Luffy leaned his back against the door to the bathroom, and had temporarily stopped his revenge plot when he hear a soft voice float from beyond the door. "~_oretachi wa...koko made kita ze; oretachi wa yuku...yume no arika e; dare mo oite'kanai ze_~" It was normal for everyone to sing together on occasion, but he had never heard Nami's voice alone before. _"~zettai WAN PIISU ichiban-nori; yumemiru kokoro wa chou DEKAI~"_

The voice he heard didn't seem to fit Nami's nagging and outgoing personality, instead it was sweet, quiet, and lovely to listen to. "~_samenai koto ga daiji; jitto dekinai tomarenai~_" He was surprised that she had such a good voice and couldn't help but to think that she needed to sing more often. Other than that he fricking loved the song she sang, so that made her even better automatically. "_~yoake ga osokute JIREttai~ _"

He frowned when he realized he was running out of time and thought to himself, '_This sucks, I like hearing her sing._' He pursed his lips and opened the bathroom door silently. He snuck in and her voice sounded ten times more beautiful than it had when he stood on the other side of the door. Respecting her privacy, he didn't look—well for too long— at her figure behind the shower curtain.

Luffy didn't realize it, but he sang along with her under his breath as he got to work. _"~ichi, ni, Sunshine ~_"

He swiped all the towels on the rack and in the cabinet.

_"~ichi, ni, Sunshine ~_

He took the only bathrobe he saw.

_"~ichi~_

Luffy grabbed her shirt and shorts.

_"~ni~"_

Next came her underwear scattered out on the floor.

_"~Sunshine ~"_

He double checked that there would nothing for her to cover up with then headed to the door.

"_~yon...WII GOO!~" _Luffy opened the door with a grin of success, then closed it behind him barley loud enough for Nami to hear.

"WII GOO!"

Just as Nami finished singing her song, she thought she heard the door close. "You perverts have two seconds to get out or its 100,000 beri each." No one replied, so she shrugged her shoulders and rinsed out her hair.

When she finished with her shower, she stepped out and reached for her towel, which always hung on the same rack, but nothing was there. She felt cold metal and looked to find that all the towels were gone. The cabinet was open and empty, and her clothes were missing.

She squinted her eyes and had the sudden urge to punch his face in. "Luffy…"

Nami poked her head out from the door and didn't see anyone, so she quickly ran out covering herself as best she could. Though she didn't like the idea of running across the ship naked, she couldn't stay in the bathroom all day. You see the Happiness Punch was different, the guys had _already_ been spying on her with Vivi, so it made no difference to show herself. To walk around Sunny completely naked though was different. She felt more vulnerable being naked and having the potential to awkwardly walk into anyone else at any moment.

She didn't make it far before she saw Luffy sitting up on an upper part of the ship looking down at her. "Missing something?" He gloated and Nami had restrain herself from climbing up there and beating him senseless. "It's a long way back to your room. You have to go all the way across the main deck."

"I know where my own room is!" Nami yelled at him and Luffy goaded, "Someone sounds a little annoyed."

She took a moment to calm herself. She moved her arms away from her body and stood in front of Luffy in all her naked glory. "You know what, jokes on you, because I don't care! Everyone's already seen me naked and there's no such things as privacy on this ship anyway." She threw her hands up in the air.

Nami smirked when she saw his face turn bright red and he stared with surprised eyes. When she started to feel a little self-conscious with his eyes roaming her body like any teenage male would, and a little more _affected_ from his gaze than she found appropriate, she turned to walk away. She waved back at him without looking, "See ya."

'_That is the most embarrassing I have ever done!_' Nami wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it for a couple of days. She wouldn't go as far to say that she liked Luffy, well not enough to do something about it, but she liked him enough for that to be absolutely humiliating. '_At least I caught him off guard…_' No matter how she tried to justify it, nothing made her feel better.

Unfortunately she turned a corner, and saw half the crew on the deck. She walked out trying to stay hidden from their eye sight, but she noticed soon enough that they were all staring at something.

"Pantsu. Pantsu. Pantsu. Pantsu. Pantsu." Brook chanted excitedly.

"Looks like we have another pervert on board we didn't know about." Franky stated.

Nami took a better look and saw, way up high on the mast, was her underwear, worse it was her lacey red thong, hanging on a nail. "He didn't." Nami clasped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late. Sanji had turned around and there was a massive explosion of blood all over the place.

"Sanji-kun! Don't look!" Nami looked around for a place to hide frantically. She was so desperate, jumping off the side of the ship seemed better than showing off all her curves and parts to the crew, and potentially killing a namaka. Her heart hammered in her chest and she nervously tried to get away. But it was too late.

Her scream made everyone else turn around and they started freaking out in their own unique way. All besides Chopper, who was one, a doctor familiar with human anatomy, and two, focused on Sanji who's heart was pumping out of his chest and had blood spurting from his nose. "Doctor! Doctor! We need to get Sanji a doctor! He's losing too much blood."

Nami bolted past them trying to cover herself as best she could while running to her room. When she got to the door, she tried to open it, but she couldn't get the door knob to budge. She looked behind her to see the men ogling her unashamedly and she screeched again, "Quit staring!" For some heart twisting moments she rattled the knob, until it finally took pity on her and turned to let her inside the girls quarters. She locked the door and ran to find clothes even though she was by herself. Nami heard a growing laughter from the other side of the door and her face turned as red as the band around Luffy's straw hat. "Everyone on this ship is a damn pervert!"

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A/n: If I keep telling you guys you are awesome, you might develop a complex... Oh well, you are! Thanks for the support, love ya, and hope you liked this chapter :)

Oh and the lyrics are obviously NOT mine. I did not write them! They are from the 15th One Piece Opening, "We Go!"


	5. Someone Kiss Me!

**Someone Kiss Me!**

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After a number of escapades on an island now behind them, the crew once again sailed across the ocean, and getting Luffy back became Nami's top priority. Shopping in town had given her a brilliant idea and she couldn't wait to make him pay. She would scare him senseless. Her cheeks flared as remembered what he did to her last time.

Nami snuck up to Sunny's head and poked Luffy's cheek. "Luffy." She whispered, and he didn't even budge. She said his name with her normal volume, but he still didn't flinch. With a cat-like grin she got to work.

In town she had found a dark blue dye that had a mysterious glow. The salesmen promised her it wouldn't cause any harm to a person, so she snagged the bottle, without paying of course. Wearing gloves, she put a rag over the lip of the bottle and carefully tipped it over. The rag soaked up the blue concoction of revenge-in-the-making, and she blotted it on his skin in scattered splotches. It took a second for it to stain his skin and when it did, it turned a faint dark blue and faintly glowed. When she finished with his hands and feet, she slipped his sandals back on and then paused when her hand reached his shirt.

Since when did he start buttoning it again? She didn't let that stop her, so she looked at his peaceful face to make sure he was still sleeping, and then attempted to unbutton the first button. Her hands started shaking and she couldn't get the thing to come off. '_Damn hands!_' Why was she so nervous all the sudden? She finally got the top button undone.

Three more to go.

After painstakingly undoing his shirt up until the last button, she paused yet again. Her hands hovered over his rock hard lower abdominals and her face flushed. She felt so awkward all of the sudden. '_He runs around shirtless all the time, what's the deal!_'

He muttered something, and Nami felt like her heart would fly right out of her mouth. He settled back into a deep sleep and Nami picked up the pace. '_I don't need to undo all of them I guess_.'

As she dabbed the concoction in a more concentrated fashion across his chest and stomach. Though she had to suffer with those infernal buttons, she realized it was better that she could re-button the shirt to hide the blotches of glowing blue. She had planned to put the dye on his side, hoping he wouldn't look there until she told him to after said the "deadly" disease was "spreading." Now she didn't have to worry.

Now that the deed was done, she felt twenty times calmer and laughed to herself, '_He is so dense, it almost isn't fair._' She was surprised, it legitimately looked like he lost circulation to his feet and hands, and the creepy glow made it seem so much worse too. It was so perfect, he would freak out for sure.

After a couple minutes she buttoned up the shirt, making sure the dye had soaked in and dried completely. She started to stand up, but Luffy's voice made her freeze. "Naamii, that's my food! -so mean... I'm gonna starve. Nooo..." He turned on his side and curled into a ball. She rolled her eyes and made herself scarce.

* * *

"GAAAAAHHHH!" Luffy's scream was heard across the ship. The whole crew had been hanging out on the lower deck playing games, eating snacks, and working, but they stopped what they were doing to head over to the bow. They weren't really concerned, but figured they were at least _obligated_ to make sure he didn't fall off the ship…again or do something else stupid...again. When they got there they saw Luffy with his hands in front of his face. He removed them from his eye sight, and stars shinned in his eyes. "GUYS LOOK HOW COOL THIS IS!" The stars spread to Usopp's eyes.

Nami face palmed. '_Of course he would think it was cool._'

Usopp and Chopper ran up to him and grabbed a hand in excitement, Chopper had to jump up and stretch Luffy's arm down to his height. "COOL!"

"I know! I bet I have special powers now." Luffy took his hands back and started to spin his arm around like he was going to attack something.

"Luffy you're so awesome!" Chopper jumped up and down. Stars were in his eyes now.

"I don't know why I even try." Nami grumbled.

Robin, the only person there vaguely concerned, stepped forward, "Doctor-san, don't you think that could be something serious."

'_Robin you're a life saver_!' Nami felt like shedding tears of joy, she could always count on Robin.

Chopper's face turned serious, "Maybe, but I've never seen anything like this." He inspected Luffy's foot, and circled around him. "If this is happening to his extremities, it could be... But that doesn't explain why he's glowing."

Nami smirked, "Could be what Chopper?"

"Raynaud's Phenomenon... but I've never seen it be presented this way. I can't explain why it happens, but something causes the blood vessels to narrow and stops blood from circulating properly. If that's even what this is."

"Scary!" Usopp dashed away from Luffy to where Robin stood, "Luffy stay over there, I don't want to catch whatever you have."

"No you can't catch it, but Luffy did you do anything different at the town we just left?"

"Well I kicked mustache guy's ass..." He scratched his head, "but I guess that's normal isn't it..."

Nami took her chance to get the situation back in her favor. "Luffy I saw you eat something weird looking in the forest." She made use of a dramatic pause, the gasped. "Oh no…" Nami covered her mouth and shook her head. "I knew I should have stopped you." She walked over to Luffy, little did she know she had a small blue stain on her very-there's-no-way-in-hell-I'm-running-around-in-anything-skimpy-for-a-long-time shirt. Robin was the only one who noticed. Nami grabbed Luffy's blue hand. "I'm so sorry Luffy."

Luffy looked at her strangely, "What? What are you talking about, I don't remember eating anything." Panic started to swell in his voice.

"What was it Nami?" Chopper asked worriedly.

"I was talking to some of the towns people, and they said be careful not to eat things in the surrounding forest. Apparently there was a rare poisonous fruit that made your hands and feet glow blue if you ate it." Nami saw Luffy staring at her like a little kid did when listening to their parents tell a scary story. "The disease would then spread to the person's chest and stomach. Then- Oh I can't say it." She started to tear up.

Luffy tore open his shirt and paled when he saw the blue, glowing splotches.

"Nami," Luffy put his hands on her shoulders and looked utterly terrified, "What's going to happen to me?"

"You will become allergic to every kind of food in the world, and eventually die from starvation."

Sunny shook with at a loud uproar of "NANI?!" Some believed her, others realized the exclamation was completely stupid and knew she was messing with him. All eyes went to Luffy regardless.

Luffy was silent, and Nami knew he was trying to process what she said, it always took him a little longer to understand his current situation. "This is my fault." She apologized again. Out of the corner of her eye, Nami saw Robin whisper something to Zoro.

"No way…" Luffy mumbled.

Nami almost felt bad when she saw such a pained expression come over his face. He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and shook her roughly. "You're lying! This is just you trying to get me back. I've learned my lesson, no more pranks Nami. I'm sorry, just tell me your lying!"

With much effort she made her face turn extremely solemn, "I'm not lying." She stepped away from Luffy and he looked severely depressed. "This cant be possible... You mean I can't eat meat ever again?!"

'_Doesn't he care about dying?_!' "No."

"What about fish." He asked in earnest.

"That's also meat…" Nami rolled her eyes.

"What about sea kings!"

"Ugh, Luffy that is fish and therefore also meat."

Before he would proceed to his next question dealing with fruit, she made a fist and hit her hand like she had an epiphany. "Wait! I remember something else, they said that there is a way to fix this."

She wasn't going soft on him. No, she just wanted to humiliate him, and if that meant Luffy would stop looking so sad, then all the better. Okay, maybe she did go a little soft, not that Nami would ever admit that.

"What is it?!" Luffy looked hopeful, "I will do anything!"

"You have to kiss someone for five seconds who doesn't have red, white, or purple hair." She said with the most serious expression she could muster. Luffy's eyes lit up, and she felt better. '_Nami, you are brilliant._' Nami mentally patted herself on the back for her recovery.

"That's bullshit! Luffy think about it, this is just another one of her pranks." She heard Zoro protest nervously from behind when Luffy moved his eyes from her to everyone else who started to panic themselves.

Luffy looked with panicked, desperate eyes to his loving, loyal, nice namaka who would do absolutely anything for him. "Guys someone kiss me!"

* * *

A/n: Keep a weather eye on the horizon, because there is a part two to come! Obviously you know where this is going, so I wanted to ask your opinion. Who would be best for Luffy to kiss _OTHER_ than Nami? I have already written something and I don't plan on changing it, but I thought I would still ask for the lols. BUT hey if I get a decent response/vote for one character from you guys then I might be inclined to change it. I will leave it in your hands.

Hopefully you found this entertaining! Thanks for reviewing and for all the comments, I'm sooooo thrilled that people are enjoying this :D You all are spectacular-I could just cry :')

Oh and lastly, I apologize for the crapanese. Honestly when I think of the how the characters would react, I don't think in English for some reason. I guess that comes with watching every episode of One Piece.


	6. Someone Kiss Me, Part II

**Someone Kiss Me!**

Part II

* * *

Everyone, excluding Robin, yelled back at him in utter horror and disgust (Zoro had looped everyone else in to what Robin told him). "Hell no!"

"Guys hurry, I am going to starve and die if you don't!" He ran towards them with outstretched arms and puckered lips and they practically tripped over themselves to get out of his way.

Usopp ducked away when Luffy headed for him. "Luffy she's lying to you, you aren't going to die. Get away!"

"If you are that dumb you deserve to die!" Zoro dodged Luffy when he switched targets to him. "But I'm sure Ero-cook over there wouldn't mind, he's into that kind of thing." Zoro sent Sanji a wicked grin.

Luffy turned to Sanji with pleading eyes and jumped at him, Sanji kicked Luffy's head into the floor boards. "Hey shit-head why don't you keep your mouth shut." He yelled back at Zoro.

"Sanji~! You have to." Luffy cried, but Sanji replied angrily, "NO! Can't you tell Nami's lying? Why don't you ask one of them, he kicked him over to Usopp, Chopper, and Brook who were hiding behind Franky. Luffy stood three feet away from them. He looked to Chopper hopefully.

"What me?!" Chopper looked horrified. "But I'm a reindeer."

Luffy crossed his arms over his chest and nodded, "True."

Chopper pointed to Franky, who put his arms up above his head in his usual epic pose. "But I'm a cyborg."

"True, true. " Luffy nodded again and looked to Usopp, who said simply, "But I have a long nose."

"True, true, true." Luffy nodded calmly again, he waited for Brook's answer. Usopp sighed dramatically in relief that the excuse had somehow passed.

"I would, but you see… I don't have any lips! Skull joke! Yohohohohoho."

"Hmm, seems legit." Luffy nodded a final time, satisfied with their answers, and turned back to Sanji, Zoro, and Robin. The four others sighed since they were off the hook and started giggling at the swordsman and chef who turned ghostly pale.

"How is that legit!?" Sanji and Zoro shouted at the same time, they didn't argue about copying each other since Luffy was heading their direction...and fast! The two briefly shared a look and then Zoro looked back to find Luffy's face within arms length.

"ZORO HELP ME! I don't want to die." Zoro caught Luffy's face between his hands and felt so thankful that he had caught him in time, "You aren't dying!" Zoro tossed him to Sanji who stepped out of the way. Luffy stretched out one arm and clung to Zoro pleadingly.

"But your my first mate you have too! Don't me die!" Zoro paused and looked at Luffy who was looking so very pathetic.

"For the last time no way in hell am I doing that!" Zoro yelled at him then pointed, "Why don't you ask Robin?"

Robin and Luffy shared a look then she turned her head with a quick and simple, "No."

"So cold!"

"She shut him down."

Usopp and Chopper were taken aback by Robin's harshness, but she didn't pay attention to them.

"Robin, please. I need you!" He ran over to her and waved his arms spastically. "I'm going to die unless you let me kiss you!"

They stared at each other and everyone looked on anxiously, would she do it? They all leaned in when Robin whispered in Luffy's ear, but they couldn't hear what she said.

"Luffy-san you are not dying, Nami painted you with something, look it's on her shirt too." Robin said it so calmly, he believed her instantly. He breathed a sigh of relief, then squinted his eyes angrily when he glanced at Nami. Robin felt slightly bad for Luffy. It was just like telling a naïve little kid that if they swallowed a watermelon seed, a watermelon would grow in their stomach. Mostly though, she was in a vengeful spirit for being dragged into all the nonsense, so felt compelled to help him out."I think it would be interesting to see what happened if you kissed me anyway." She continued to whisper.

'_She's not thinking about going along with this is she?_' All of the sudden Nami felt a deep sense of betrayal.

"Why?" He whispered back calmly as the rest of the crew look on craning their necks and trying to listen in. Nami felt her heart catch, was he going to kiss Robin?! He wouldn't. _She_ wouldn't!

"I would venture a guess and say she has a tendency to get jealous about this type of thing. If you make it real, you can get her back for dragging you, me, and the entire crew into this mess."

Luffy though about it for a moment. "You said no before, you sure it's alright? I don't need to anymore since I'm not dying." It's not that he didn't want to, he didn't care one way or the other, he just wanted to respect what she wanted. Robin nodded that he could.

"I owe you one!" He smiled and lifted his hand to push back a stray piece of hair from her face.

'_What is he doing?!_'Nami took a step forward, "Ne Luffy, I was just kidding before. You don't have a disease or anything." She reached out to him tentatively, but he didn't stop inching his face closer to Robin's.

"Damn, he's actually doing it." Zoro was a little shocked, and held back a fuming Sanji.

"Awwwwwwhhhh sssuuuuuuppperrrr!"

Luffy snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her body to his with a swift jerk. He said loud enough for all to hear in a husky voice. "I owe you my life Nico Robin." He lowered his head to meet her lips.

Nami's heart pounded and she was overcome with a wave of jealously. In fact she felt so angry she had to restrain herself from marching over there, ripping the two apart, and tossing her idiot captain off Sunny. Another side of her just wanted to walk away, but she couldn't detach her eyes from the couple. Robin very nearly laughed, Luffy being able to kiss well was so unexpected. Obviously he had learned a thing or two sometime in the past.

Luffy tilted Robin back slightly and leaned into her. Robin was surprised yet again, when he bit her lip softly to try and deepen the kiss. She went along with it, despite herself.

A small eek escaped Chopper's mouth and he hid behind Nami.

A couple 'get a room's were said, Sanji passed out, but Nami just silently stared in disbelief at what happened. She how no idea Luffy even knew how to kiss!

When Luffy pulled back, Robin was breathless and looked at Luffy in amazement.

"Where the _heck_ did you learn that?" Usopp sputtered.

His proud smirk fell to a sad smile. "A master..."

He looked to see Nami's reaction and smiled again. Her mouth hung open in astonishment and she stared at him with wide eyes. As far as he was concerned, Nami's plan completely backfired thanks to Robin. He never would have guessed Nami would get jealous over him. He laughed. The best part was that it was _his_ turn to get back at her now.

After all...he _did_ "almost" die.

Sanji recovered from his unconscious state, "I'm gonna rip your shitty head off for touching my Robin-chwan!"

"Sanji, I'm hungry. Make me food!" Luffy sent a quick glance at Nami. She saw the triumph in his eyes, which pissed her off to no end. That pissed her off even more than the fact that he walked away like nothing happened.

Nami just stood there looking at the receding back of her captain. It suddenly occurred to her. He had figured her out. He knew somehow it would make her jealous. She felt extremely embarrassed. But what would this mean?

* * *

"What are you doing?" Nami's heart started to hammer rapidly in her chest when Luffy grabbed her from behind and turned her around to face him.

Luffy smiled boyishly and brought her closer to him. "I just realized something. You have orange hair." His smile grew bigger.

Nami started to get nervous. "Wait, what do you-" He cut her off by pressing his lips against hers briefly and then pulled away. He let her go and Nami was too shocked to move.

Meanwhile Luffy didn't even seem fazed. "Great, I just had to make sure I wasn't dying hahaha! Oh and come on, dinner's ready."

Nami still imagined the feel of his lips pressed against hers. It then it occurred to her. "_You have to kiss someone... who doesn't have red, white, or purple hair_..." She had always called herself a red-head, apparently Luffy had decided otherwise. Her face flushed horribly and ran up ahead of Luffy towards the kitchen so he couldn't look back and see her reaction.

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A/n: The reviews were mixed or impartial about the victim, so I didn't change what I originally wrote for this chapter. I hope you liked it, or at least smiled once when reading it. Once again, thank you guys for all the comments and support. I really appreciate it. You all make me so happy! :D


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